Overcoming Your Inner Saboteur

Overcoming Your Inner Saboteur

     The inner saboteur. You know.  That's the voice that pops up in your head after you’ve had a good idea, or a strong desire to change something, or to go for something new in your life. We all hear it harping on “why we can’t do that,” or “who are we to do that,” or “you can’t pull that off,”  sharing a multitude of reasons why we aren't (something) enough.  

     You know them.  They are the ones that bum us out when we try to do or to stop doing something.  They discourage us or cause us to freeze in panic when thinking about improving ourselves like going for a greater position at work or a new level in our business, or losing weight, becoming more social or joining a dating site. 

     Some of that has to do with the “stay safe” part of our brain with its knee jerk reaction screaming, “NO! Keep everything the same!”  We know what works.  Just keep doing that!" 

     So if you thought that was just you, know that those thoughts bully us all.  They are so common that they’ve even been organized into categories and used in a treatment method for anxiety and depression. It's called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and it’s based on the idea that our thoughts create our emotions which stimulates our behaviors.

     These negative thoughts are categorized into 10 or 12 types depending upon the system. Then common alternative constructive thoughts are listed or you can choose to create your own.  You identify your current negative thought in one of these unproductive categories and then use a technique for replacing it with a productive thought that you can align with.

     I found a great app for iphones called iCouch which allows you to journal about the situation, describe what happened, identify your negative thoughts and emotions, categorize them and choose a desired thought and plan how you could implement it next time this situation comes up. 

     Another tool, that uses energy psychology called EFT, has you identify the negative thought then create a positive thought to replace it.  Then you tap on accupucture points on the face and upper body to neutralize the negative thinking and install the desired thought(s) creating the positive emotion that facilitates a positive behavior/action. 

     A third tool is to have a stillness practice.  That is about connecting to a deeper part within you and listening - being open to receiving intuitive or higher guidance.  Along similar lines you can practice mindfulness where you simply observe your thoughts and emotions as opposed to being “in” them.   You could also do a breath practice to calm your thoughts and emotions, get out of the racing thoughts in your mind and into a quiet resting/silent state. 

 Any of these tools interrupts the fight or flight build up process in your stress  system.  Research in neuroplasticity has shown that we have a capacity to change our conditioned response brain pathways.  And researchers are studying mindfulness and stillness practices as tools for creating new neuro-pathways that support positive behavioral habits.  

To try out a free on-line mindfulness training click on this link:

If you found this helpful and would like support in learning this please contact me and set up an appointment.  For the link to my on-line calendar click here.

Memorial Day 2011

    On Memorial Day in the US we honor those who have died and/or served the rest of us by fighting those who would threaten our freedom.  And we are grateful for their service and sacrifice on behalf of the rest of us.

    And when do we give honor to ourselves for the wars we wage within ourselves against programs, ideas, belief structures and feelings that hinder or obstruct our freedom and threaten to take us down or keep us imprisoned?

   There is an ancient wisdom teaching which states, "As above, so below; as within, so without."  If this is so, what does my life show me?  Is there harmony, peace and abundance in myself, my body, my relationships, my work, my finances? 

   As I scan through my life I see holes.  I see battles that have been fought for years still being fought.  Is this going anywhere?  Is progress being made?  What is the purpose, the goal?  Are they battles for territory, to uphold principles, or for survival perhaps?  I believe these battles, though they may look like they are about external circumstances, at their core are the results of our desire to achieve states of inner peace, love, joy, self acceptance and freedom.  And the challenges can seem recurring and endless.

    In my practice I have seen several people experience repeated blows to their heart that I thought might have been to much for them.  Yet the next week they return with a new outlook or some other evidence of soul growth.   I never cease to be awed by their presence, their ability to face what is, move through it and into a new self perception resulting in positive changes in their lives and relationships.

   So this day I honor all of us in the battles for personal freedom from tyranny, myself included.  We are worthy of great honor and respect and love for the resilience we demonstrate in the face of these challenges coming from both within and outside of ourselves.

Significance

All my life I have sought to be seen by others as significant according to the current world's definition. In this definition the requirement for significance is to have made a major public contribution in the eyes of some large group, or to be on the top and visible in my profession, to be seen as an expert, to hob nob with others so titled, etc. Your definitions may be different but whatever they are our belief is that we need accomplish them, to be them in order to be significant. This left me with a deep feeling of never being good enough, never measuring up. The belief itself sets up a competitive mindset versus a collaborative one. It also feels like a never ending task similar to trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it.

But I've come to understand that this belief is coming from a cultural mindset based in rationalism and materialism. I first learned about cultural mindsets when I was a foreign exchange student in high school. Cultural beliefs are like the ocean one swims in without realizing the environment you are in. It's familiar and natural to you so you don't question if it is healthy or not. It is normal ... unless you experience another culture where the norms are different.

The rationalistic, materialistic mindset goes against thousands of years of man's experience and intuitive living on this planet. In fact, it teaches separation from a universal energy field and Consciousness and thus any oneness of the All That Is and spiritual nourishment derived from the Oneness. This separatist mindset says the universe and all in it including man is like a machine, although an exceptional one, though still finite, alone with no access to any higher planes of consciousness. Everything that is known is known through reason, not intuition. This Newtonian mindset insists that everything must be proven through external, objective evidence. I have felt it as an oppressive energy throughout my life without knowing what it was.

But we live now in the era of quantum physics and the awareness of a participatory universe. Science has discovered the wave/particle phenomena - when an observer looks at a wave, energy, it changes into a particle returning to wave when observation ceases. I am free to change my focus. I can stop looking at the conclusions of old Newtonian science as the only truth and release myself from the old structures I took to be reality. These old structures are familiar territory but not the ultimate truth. In fact, they are at abouton the same level as the belief that our world is flat.

So my job is no longer to waste time trying to prove my significance but to get on with being now. This requires simple acceptance of myself and everything in my life as it is right now. The act of acceptance releases the contraction and restriction in me that comes from beliefs about what I "ought to be doing" and "what I should have, be, done by now in my life."

Acceptance is an ever deepening process happening in layers, requiring renewed choice as each layer presents itself to my consciousness. By doing this process I am free to contribute what is mine to bring to the Whole, the cosmic pot luck!

This understanding has been a key to my returning to blogging.

Sustainable living

"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness that created them."
Albert Einstein

There is evidence to conclude that we are living in unprecedented times. The imbalanced materialistic consciousness or mindset, that we have had, at least in the West, had resulted in some damage to the economy, pollution to our physical and emotional environment, and endangerment to our survival.

But rather than cast blame, I'm suddenly asking myself, "What destructive mindsets am I stuck in that are destroying my being?" As one saying states, "as the individual, so goes the society." If my individual mindset is insecurity, fear, and self protection I am most likely interacting with you on a "trying to get what I need and want from you" foundation. That makes you more of a commodity , an object to fulfill my needs and desires. Humans become consumable items kept until their usefulness is over and then discarded. And I will also assume you are thinking the same towards me because we project our consciousness level onto others. This is an extreme example but as one author wrote, "One's internal beliefs about being insufficient and insecure spawns all ills - greed, selfishness, addiction, etc."

Science is demonstrating that we are all energy and we are all connected. This means that what we do effects the whole system. Thoughts, beliefs, emotions are energy and effect our whole body for example. And the influence spreads out from there to our relationship and to all who are interacting with us.

In coming back full circle, if I have a healthy self responsibility mindset, I will choose to clean up the destructive, insufficiency, insecurity beliefs in me. This restores my balance in healthy self love and other love. It brings health to my body, to my relationships, and open me to fulfilling my life purpose, my work here. I believe more of this is what is needed to live through these times we are in. This is sustainable living.

Encouraging thoughts

In this blog I will be sharing the encouraging and inspirational thoughts that come to me through my meditations, emails, teachers, etc. It is my purpose to contribute to the solution and not add to the problems in our lives and in our world. More truth and light words are needed and that is what I will be seeking and sharing. Sign up as a follower if you would like to receive updates as I post them.
Blessings, June