Overcoming Your Inner Saboteur
The inner saboteur. You know. That's the voice that pops up in your head after you’ve had a good idea, or a strong desire to change something, or to go for something new in your life. We all hear it harping on “why we can’t do that,” or “who are we to do that,” or “you can’t pull that off,” sharing a multitude of reasons why we aren't (something) enough.
You know them. They are the ones that bum us out when we try to do or to stop doing something. They discourage us or cause us to freeze in panic when thinking about improving ourselves like going for a greater position at work or a new level in our business, or losing weight, becoming more social or joining a dating site.
Some of that has to do with the “stay safe” part of our brain with its knee jerk reaction screaming, “NO! Keep everything the same!” We know what works. Just keep doing that!"
So if you thought that was just you, know that those thoughts bully us all. They are so common that they’ve even been organized into categories and used in a treatment method for anxiety and depression. It's called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and it’s based on the idea that our thoughts create our emotions which stimulates our behaviors.
These negative thoughts are categorized into 10 or 12 types depending upon the system. Then common alternative constructive thoughts are listed or you can choose to create your own. You identify your current negative thought in one of these unproductive categories and then use a technique for replacing it with a productive thought that you can align with.
I found a great app for iphones called iCouch which allows you to journal about the situation, describe what happened, identify your negative thoughts and emotions, categorize them and choose a desired thought and plan how you could implement it next time this situation comes up.
Another tool, that uses energy psychology called EFT, has you identify the negative thought then create a positive thought to replace it. Then you tap on accupucture points on the face and upper body to neutralize the negative thinking and install the desired thought(s) creating the positive emotion that facilitates a positive behavior/action.
A third tool is to have a stillness practice. That is about connecting to a deeper part within you and listening - being open to receiving intuitive or higher guidance. Along similar lines you can practice mindfulness where you simply observe your thoughts and emotions as opposed to being “in” them. You could also do a breath practice to calm your thoughts and emotions, get out of the racing thoughts in your mind and into a quiet resting/silent state.
Any of these tools interrupts the fight or flight build up process in your stress system. Research in neuroplasticity has shown that we have a capacity to change our conditioned response brain pathways. And researchers are studying mindfulness and stillness practices as tools for creating new neuro-pathways that support positive behavioral habits.
To try out a free on-line mindfulness training click on this link:
If you found this helpful and would like support in learning this please contact me and set up an appointment. For the link to my on-line calendar click here.
